Dog Family Diaries 9-27-12

So today I have Betsy Beagle and her new sister, Dolley staying here for the weekend.  I also have Bella who comes here for in-home daycare on Tuesday and Thursday.  This is the first time Bella and little Ms. Dolley have met so of course I wanted to be extra vigilant during the introduction – and in general during the day.  Bella’s dad dropped her off while Ruari (my 9-month-old) was napping, allowing me to go in the backyard with the dogs and Kiera (who can hold her own and manage herself), and focus on the introduction.  Bella’s dad joined me and so rather than video I chatted with him about dog interactions.  As I suspected though, Dolley being a puppy was mostly submissive and preferred to stand back and watch more than get in and interact.  The introduction overall went well though, and there was only one correction, when Bella started to correct Dolley because she was being possessive over playing with Betsy.  It was only slight but I gave a quick verbal correction and Bella backed off.

I’m actually going to do this entry as mostly a video diary and will post the videos at the end of the day in chronological order with added notes I might want to talk about after each video.

Video 1  10:30 am:

Contents –

• Kid toys  vs. dog toys
• Balancing kids & dogs
  • Age relating to kids & dogs
  • Normally would not let hyper play in house with dogs
  • Kid overwhelming puppy

Video 2  11:15 am:

Contents –

• After initial intro of Bella and Dolley (Bella’s dad watched the initial introduction)
• Dog interactions
• Puppies usually have submissive introductions and take a bit to feel comfortable

Video 3  11:49 am:

Contents –

• I don’t allow collar grabbing during play
• Have plenty of resources in a multi-dog home
• Still, dogs always want what the other dog has
• Kid & dog tug

Video 4  11:56 am:

Contents –

• Dolley is still at the watching phase
• Betsy & Bella playing

Video 5  1:55 pm:

Contents –

• Dolley & Bella play
• How to balance encouraging confidence and not clinginess, but also recognizing signs of when a dog is too nervous
• Reciprocal play
• Balancing kids & dogs play time
• Giving dogs breaks from each other
• Rules can be different
  • Ex: one dog allowed on couch but other not

Video 6  2:10 pm:

Contents –

• Bella being cute with baby through the play pen
• Bella and Betsy with kids and dogs in general with kids
• I make them stop licking the baby immediately if I see Ruari doesn’t like or want it, and if she doesn’t mind then I just make them stop when it starts to bother me

Video 7  2:16 pm:

Contents –

• INTERESTING – Dolley gets possessive over toy with Bella
  • (actually after watching the video again Dolley did go a little overboard with her correction)
  • NOTE: In the ‘dog’ world Dolley would have had her little butt kicked for doing this and she would have learned her lesson about where she stood in the pack.  Most of the time in a ‘wild’ pack there would not have been a lot of damage done to her but it might have looked and sounded bad.  It is very possible that if I had allowed that to play out the same would have happened – it would have looked and sounded bad but no damage would have been done – however I don’t want to find that out!  I talk a lot about the human world being different than the dog world and so in the dog world for Bella to ‘put Dolley in her place’ would have been appropriate, but in the human world we don’t want the dogs fighting.  In addition I would not want Dolley to have a bad fight association at such an age.  She is at a stage of development where certain things could imprint on her very strongly – so a very fearful event could cause her to have severe problems with that particular event for the rest of her life.  Bella can be also be a bit full of herself so it’s not necessarily a bad thing for her to learn to play a little nicer.  So I did not want the fight to occur in the human world for many reasons.  But it just took a little bit of intervening (voice and presence) to diffuse the situation.
  • Note: Though I would not immediately worry about some type of ‘aggression’ problem with Dolley right now – all dogs have their triggers – her behavior is something to note and pay attention to as she develops.  It took some guts for a puppy her age to step up to a bigger, older dog – gut again to repeat myself, I’ve seen plenty of puppies reach their trigger and get onto another dog.  Overall my opinion of Dolley’s personality is one of being an extremely sweet dog with people, pretty confident overall, and a little go-getter when it comes to playing – but I am seeing appropriate play behaviors with her.  She plays a lot but she is also a love with her sister when they both get tired.

Video 8  2:40 pm:

Contents –

• Dogs playing
• How dogs give cut-off signals – Quin & Bella
• NOTE:  Some dogs don’t read any signals well and some give very poor signals and there is everything in between.  I often work with dogs in play group situations to help them learn signals and this is one of the things I have been working on with Bella.  It’s easier to help a dog learn to read signals better but it is much harder to help a dog learn to give better signals but this can also be done.

Dolley lying at my feet on one side about 2:45

Betsy pooped out on the dogs bed

Video 9  3:06 pm:

Contents –

• Betsy & Bella playing
• Bella sits on Betsy’s head again!
• Bella gives me kisses

Video 10  3:29 pm:

Bella begrudginly lies down

Contents –

• Just before this video Betsy and Bella were playing casually while laying down but Betsy yelped all the sudden (she was fine)
• Bella wants to make it all okay but goes way overboard and gets all hyper, then pisses everyone off even more
• Talk – Dolley corrected Bella because she didn’t want to play
• Teaching dogs to follow cues of other dogs

Bela is finally looking tired!

Video 11  5:03 pm:

Contents –

• Dolley’s interesting potty tendency
• Kiera bossing the dogs
• Betsy wanted Quin’s bone
• Rule of possession with objects & other dog wanting it
• Kiera being challenging (to me!)

Video 12  5:15 pm:

Contents –

• All 3 kids and the dogs – CRAZY  ;)
• Working with Dolley puppy and Ruari baby
• Correcting Kiera for inappropriate interaction with dogs

Video 13  5:32 pm:

This video was having trouble downloading.  I will check it tomorrow and see if it’s up properly.

Contents –

• Last video
• Ruari got bowled over a little
  • (Kiera is whining in background to be dramatic)
  • Talk to Elly about what she did wrong – It’s a constant learning process for everyone and little bumps occasionally occur
  • Energy got too high
  • Talk to Elly about leadership and petting dogs
  • I like when Kiera tries to boss the dogs  (It helps establish/ enforce her leadership over them – I still often have to step in and help the dogs listen to her or let her know when her bossing is not necessary).
  • Elly gets Bella hyped (Ruari is now in my arms)
  • Doggy tug
  • Note: Lilly my Pitt does not spend all day in her kennel when other dogs are here.  I rotate everyone around from backyard, to dog room, to inside the house, to kennel time.

Thursday was a fun, yet tiring and busy day.  I love these days though.  I love trying to balance my love of dogs and having them in our lives and my love for my children.  Funnily enough, I thought doing a video blog might be easier than writing – it wasn’t lol.

Betsy and Dolley pooped and cuddling after their fun day

On a personal note – I am really feeling much more self-confident and back in my element after both getting back to work regularly and also taking the meds I am on right now.  I have had several people tell me I should not be as open as I am about my personal life.  For a lot of my younger years I tried to follow the advice of these people – my husband being one of them.  I do understand their point and reasoning, and I definitely and obviously respect their opinions.  But then, not too very long ago, I realized I just need to do ME!  I need to be who I am and not make any excuses or apologies.  I AM an open person; it’s just how I was made.  So if that ‘exposes’ some of my ‘weaknesses’ – to me, so what!  In my opinion they aren’t weaknesses anyway – well not weaknesses that someone could prey on or use against me – 1) because I am aware of these weaknesses and 2) because they are ‘weaknesses’ that everyone has.  Everyone doubts themselves at times.  Everyone thinks maybe they are not qualified enough to do something and EVERYONE is at least a little unsure at times.  Part of why my clients love me is because I am true – they see the passion in my face, they share all the passionate aspects of my life because I am open with them about it, they know I truly care about them and their dogs because they know I AM such an open person.  There is no façade with me.

The girls are still really enjoying daycare.  We are going on a month now and Kiera still asks if it’s daycare day.  We are not quite ready financially to add in Monday but I hope by the end of October we will be.  I miss writing my book.  I have five and ½ chapters done (first draft of course) and it’s always in my head wanting to burst out, but it’s just too hard to find the time to get everything done right now and write – that is if I want to actually sleep at night – which I technically still don’t get a full night of because Ruari still wakes up for a middle of the night bottle.  (I’m not complaining one iota, just pointing out that I relish the sleep I DO get.)  I also want to continue writing my handouts and need time to do that, so I’m ready to add in Mondays at least mentally and emotionally.  I also slip in just a little ‘me’ time daily by reading every evening after I get the girls in bed and before I fall asleep myself – this is really nice and one of the things I look forward to after a hard day of work/ home/ kids/ crazy!  (I’m re-reading the Harry Potter series right now.)

Hope you enjoyed and/or even better, learned something from these videos.  Please feel free to comment or ask me a training question!  april@aprillarmstrong.com

Introducing a Second Dog

My last entry was about deciding to add a second dog.  Today’s entry will be about how I would structure a household and what things to watch out for once you have added a second dog to your household.  From the introduction, to daily life, to individual time, to making sure both dogs understand you as leader – all are important.  I’ve recently helped one of my clients with this transition which is why it’s on my mind.  Now with the dog that was already in the household (Betsy a beagle); I know her to be a very good player and well socialized dog.  In fact she is one of the best players I have met – she plays well with larger dogs, smaller dogs, rough players, easy players, shy dogs, etc.  She gives out very good signals and reads the other dogs very well.  If a dog is a little too rough with her she lets them know but in the proper way – she doesn’t overcorrect or let them walk all over her, although she does put up with a lot.  Because of her personality I knew it would be fine to introduce her to the new addition (Dolley a Springer pup) at her own home.  Because I knew Betsy so well I felt confident about the indtroduction being on ‘her own turf’.  I’ve included two videos of them playing.  However, when writing this blog and giving advice in general without knowing the dogs personally, then advice ends up being very generalized.

So for a general introduction, unless you feel very certain that your existing dog will not be a putz and try to be bossy on his own turf, it is best to introduce the dogs the first time at a neutral environment.  Now if you are adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue group, you may have no choice about location for the first introductions – but I definitely recommend at least doing two to three introductions at their location before deciding if the dog is a good fit.  (Unless you can do one intro and then a weekend trial visit – which I wrote about in previous blog.)  When you are ready to do their first introduction before they proceed to living together (unless you’ve done the trial weekend) I would recommend finding a friend who has a back yard you can borrow.  I can either be a friend with a dog or without, however if it’s a friend with a dog you might want to ask if their dog can be put away at the very least until your two new dogs have had time to interact for a while and you feel very good there are no problems.  If you feel you can decide which dog might be shyer, put that dog out first, let him walk around and check out the yard for a while by himself.  You can be out there while he does this.  Let him get his bearings and begin to feel comfortable – this will most likely help boost his confidence.  Then have someone lure him toward the back of the yard when it is time to bring out the next dog.  This helps because often what happens is that the people walk into the house – the dog outside goes right to the back door – and then when you try to bring out the next dog they are practically shoved nose to nose, which could cause an inappropriate introduction.  When dogs approach it is usually from a more arched perspective, not straight on.  (This is why leash introductions often go poorly.)

Once both dogs are outside, I like to say phrases like “wiggle, wiggle” – really the actual words that I say are NOT what matter, it’s what I picture in my head as I say them, so say any phrase that makes you picture a fun, goofy, wiggly, happy introduction will work.  Don’t say something like “be nice”, because think about what you are picturing in your head when you say a phrase like this? – you are sort of cringing that it might go wrong.  This is not the right picture to have in the mind – and I know this might sound frilly but it DOES work.  Dogs are body language oriented and if you picture the proper things in your mind then it conveys in your body language, even in the slightest ways.  All people who are outside try to kind of keep moving about, especially if one of the dogs comes to ‘set up’ next to you.  The reason they would be doing this is one of two reasons, they are insecure and trying to cope through you – in which case you want them to learn to cope on their own, or they are looking for what I call ‘their backup’ (which is still somewhat from an insecurity perspective) and they may get bossy when the other dog comes near them because they have ‘their backup’!  Also, by having the people move about it keeps the energy flowing.  One of the biggest mistakes (which I also see at dog parks) is that owners come in and stand/ sit in one space, the dogs get bottled up and then if the energy gets tense it just builds on itself until a dog acts out – usually the people can’t feel or see this stiff/ uneasy energy is occurring.  Moving around a bit in the beginning keeps the energy flowing through, which is a good thing.  I always say to ‘mosey’ – a Texas (or Southern) phrase I think – which just means wander in a relaxed way.

When Betsy and Dolley were first introduced to each other I did not get it on video, which I wish I had.  This though is the first video of them playing.  Dolley, the puppy, was cautious as is proper for a puppy – they know they are vulnerable and at the bottom of the pack.  It took until that evening for Dolley to be comfortable enough to play full out like this.

Of course keep an eye on the dogs and watch their interactions.  Praise good interactions, like sniffing properly – which is sniffing rears, sniffing shoulders and then moving on, or sniffing and getting wiggly, play bowing, and jumping around to instigate a chase.  For the two dogs to sniff and then get stiff, this could preclude one of the dogs getting nervous or acting inappropriately.  If this happens clap your hands and move around to try to break the locked interaction.  Don’t approach the dogs because this could cause them to go ahead and fight.  *If* one of the dogs corrects the other, don’t freak out.  A correction is appropriate communication – regardless of the reason.  For example, if one of the dogs approaches and tries to instigate play and the other dog corrects, he is just saying he’s not ready yet.  What you want to look out for are overcorrections or fights.  A proper correction is very quick – a growl, teeth bared, a quick snap – which if it makes contact does not do any damage.  The two dogs may have ‘words’ for a second but again, if it’s over quickly and there is not damage then let them work it out.  Also if one of the dogs is just not warming up or playing as quickly as you might like but the other dog keeps trying to instigate, don’t worry about it too much.  Dogs are like people – some just take a little while to ‘get loose’.  You can try to get the outgoing dog interested in a game with you and it might bring the shy dog out of its shell when the pressure is not so much directly on him.  You can also attempt to get the shy dog to play/ interact with you but just make sure this doesn’t embolden the instigating dog to be too pushy for play.  If it does then leave the shy dog alone and just let him watch as he likes.  If the dogs do start playing, you want to look for reciprocation.  For example if one dog is the instigator and the other dog just keeps retreating, then the instigator is not recognizing the signals that the shy dog is giving – he may need help learning this.  Getting in the mix with the dogs can be tricky, but you can try to move the instigator away gently and give the retreating dog a break.  I say things like, “See he doesn’t want you right now.”  Again, the words don’t matter as much as what it makes me picture, and then what that conveys into my body language.  If you get in the mix and it just emboldens the instigating dog even more, then just gently put the instigator away for a while to give the other a break and then try again in about 5-10 minutes.  Now the shy dog may give very good signals and hopefully the instigator recognizes these, but again, dogs are like people – some get the signals that the other dogs is putting out, and others just burst in there full force, all in, with crazy play, paying little attention to the signals of the other dog.  The best way for play to occur is that one dog instigates, and then allows the other to instigate.

Here is a video of good reciprocating play:

As soon as you realize that an overcorrection or fight, try to first separate the dogs without making contact – yelling, clapping, stomping, spraying them with a hose (which you may want to have ready beforehand).  If this does not work quickly then you may have to step in.  If you are really worried about getting bit you can buy a doggy-type pepper spray.  Everyone says ‘don’t put your hands into a dog fight’ and while I agree, I also know this is very hard not to do.  I myself often go in and grab – however I’ve had enough practice where I’ve never been bit badly.  If you have to grab – use your best judgment.  Some say grab the haunches and pull the dogs away.  To me, this is the best way to get the dog to turn and bite you by accident.  Others say never grab near the heads, but I always grab collars…  So I can give you the advice that is generally given and then admit that I don’t follow it myself and let you decide which you feel is best.  Either way grab the dog who is the instigator first – usually the other will try to flee.  Always have more than one person for introductions.  As long as the altercation was not horrible and there are no injuries, (though it freaks many people out and often looks more horrible than it truly is), you can pull the dogs away from each other for a while and hold them for several minutes until they calm down, and then let them try again once calm.  If one of the dogs is ‘hyper focusing’ on the other dog and trying to stare it down or continues to growl, bark, or lunge, then remove the dog from the yard.  Give yourselves a minute to calm as well and then discuss if you want to try again.  If you do try again, take the dog that was hyper focused out last.  If you are introducing a dog that has been aggressive in the past with any dog, I recommend having a behaviorist help you in choosing the right match and with the introduction.  I give the above information just in case and hopefully by setting things up the right way in the first place this will be avoided.  If you are a worrier, don’t let the above information scare you – it’s just information, not a sign things will go poorly.  Also if you are a worrier this will convey in the way you handle the dogs – find someone to help who is easy going or blasé to balance you out.

If you cannot find a neutral place to do the introduction and you don’t feel comfortable doing it at home, then take both dogs on a walk together.  You’ll need two people, one to manage the leash of each dog.  Get both the dogs tired first if possible.  Start off walking parallel but at a distance.  Walk at a decent pace to help keep the dogs focused on the motion of walking rather than hyper focusing on each other.  Close the gap little by little until you are walking side by side, this may take several blocks.  Walk parallel until the dogs are pretty used to this distance then close the gap until they start to notice each other again.  Once together you may want to take turns letting one dog walk a little ahead at a slower pace, so the other can come up and sniff, and then exchange so each dog gets a chance to sniff the rear of the other (the least threatening and most information giving part of the dog).  Once you’ve been walking for a little while in harmony either end at your house and let the dogs off leash, or separate the dogs and wait until you can do the walk again if you prefer to do several walks before they are both off leash.  (I could go into a whole discussion about how to do on-leash introductions in a way that maintains a loose leash and by kind of doing a dance but this should do.)

Once the dogs have been introduced and seem to be doing well, they will still likely have an adjustment period of getting used to each other.  There may be some growling, corrections, or ‘having words’ over certain issues but usually this is just the dogs learning each other’s quirks and boundaries.  Again, just keep an eye out for overcorrections or issues that become a fight.  Then I would recommend setting a rough schedule for the dogs.  I would actually highly recommend running what I call a two dog household for a while.  This is where the dogs are separated except for certain play periods.  If my new dog is a puppy I might let him or her go out with the existing dog at potty times, especially if the existing dog going potty seems to help the new puppy learn this habit.  But you always need to test because sometimes the puppy might be so distracted with the existing dog that he forgets to potty.  If this is the case, take the puppy out until he pees (and poos too if it’s that time of day) and then let him have a play session with the existing dog.  In my household, because I have kids, the dogs are not allowed to play in a hyper way inside so outside time is where I rile them up and let them have a good run.  Also if you have a puppy and let the dogs have a play time inside, keep in mind that puppies will need to potty approximately 15-20 minutes after waking up, eating, drinking and playing.  The way I run a two dog household is that one dog is in a room, kennel, or out in the back yard while the other is having time out with me.  During this separation time I make sure to do some training little bits at a time with the new dog.  I may grab a few treats and work on sit, play a game of toss the treat, or even just do doggy massage to bond.  I also really like training using a method called ‘conversational training’, which just means when the dog just happens to do something I want, like come to me, or sit in front of me, or lie down, I say the word associated with it right at the moment they do it and praise them.  It helps train even when I’m not necessarily setting aside time to train.  And I’m teaching the dog what the action means by saying it right when they do it!  I would run a two dog household for about six weeks to three months.   During which time I would enroll my new dog in a group class where we both go together alone.  Again, this is the time to devote to getting to know, bonding with, training, and setting boundaries with your new dog.  Remember – he does not speak your language – you are a foreigner to him in every way.  The only way to bridge the gap is one-on-one time.

I didn’t get to ways to reinforce your leadership with your new dog today – this was just gettin long!  I will put that in one of my next posts.

Another important note I would like to make about training in general is to be careful not to become too dependent on treats.  I use treats a lot at first to help motivate the dog and create a positive association to working/ learning, but I start pulling the treats out pretty quickly until they are rarely used.  If you always combine giving treats with praise and also petting if possible, you will create a very strong association and connection between them.  Though I don’t have medical knowledge that this is true, I would say that this creates a strong linked chemical reaction that does not decrease by much at all when the treats are removed from the equation and you use only praise and touching as the reward.  Also think outside the box – play with your new dog and try to make a list of the five things that motivate him most – One list will include five foods or treats, the next five would be places to be touched, the next five would be five favorite toys, then five favorite games.  My Border Collie is usually trained almost solely by the reward of throwing a tennis ball for him.  My Pitt Bull loves a game of tug as a reward.  These ‘different’ methods also help me to loosen up because I can sometimes tend to get very serious and regimented when training (especially my own dogs), and I don’t want that – it needs to be fun!

If you have questions about dog introductions or proper play behaviors send me an e-mail at april@aprillarmstrong.com

Deciding to Add a Second Dog

Thinking about adding a second dog is (or should) be a very big decision.  Of course being a dog lover myself I can understand the desire.  I have two dogs of my own and lately I have had the ‘urge’ for another.  (I was telling my friend maybe it’s like the urge to have a baby that some women get – but I’m done having those…human babies I mean, lol.)  I will not act on my current urge however because I have one dog that has ‘issues’ and I know I need to get them in order before I even consider another dog.  Plus working with dogs on a daily basis both in and out of my home allows me to get a very good fill of doggy interactions.

I’m lucky that I get to ‘borrow’ dogs quite often. Taking care of dogs can be hard work but the benefits are worth it. This is Capone a Westie who came for a short time and Betsy Beagle, who comes to see us often.

My mentor used to ask people when considering if they wanted to add a second dog, “Are you adding the dog to keep your current dog busy or because you are a dog lover and are ready and desirous to take on the challenge of having and training another dog?”  I liked this question because it put a person’s consideration into perspective.  The way I like to explain it is:  Imagine you were dropped into China.   You would be forced to learn the language and the culture in order to survive and interact.  However, suppose I dropped you into China with another American?  It would be very likely that you would become quite attached to that other American – who already knows your language and culture.  Yes, the two of you might learn to speak Chinese and how to interact, but it would be a much slower process.  Now imagine if you lived in China with another American and every day, food appeared at your door for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you automatically had a home to live in, and there was running water, electricity, a yard to play in, etc. – all for free, just given to you without having to interact with the locals?

If you see where I’m going with this – THIS is exactly what happens when a second dog is introduced into a home.  They have another dog there that speaks their language; breakfast and dinner are served daily, the backyard is free for both of them to roam and everything in their life is free – what use does that second dog have for human interaction?  When looking at adding a second dog from this perspective, then it is easier to see that the work to create the very important human-dog bond with that second dog is actually even greater than it was with your first dog – who had to learn your language and culture because he had no choice.

Lottie learning to speak ‘human’ – practicing a down stay

This is not to say that I don’t understand wanting to have a second dog as a playmate for your first – I had two children close together this time so they could have a playmate; but children can communicate with us (or naturally learn to).  When a dog only speaks dog, but lives in a human world it can be very hard for them to cope.  I often see two dog households come into the daycare or boarding environment and one of the dogs copes only through the other dog.  It’s like that dog has become a safety blanket.  –Suppose that person you were dropped into China with spoke Chinese and knew the culture – you’d quickly become very dependent on them, at the very least for a while.–  It’s hard from a behavioral perspective to see these dogs in this environment with the inability to cope – because truly the only way they’ve learned to cope is through the other dog.  This creates much insecurity in the second dog.  And this insecurity is greatly increased when the dogs are separated!  Therefore the second dog has truly not learned any coping skills at all.  [I must note that sometimes this can be reversed and the first dog is the one who learns to cope through the second due to personality strengths/ confidence level.  But generally it is the other way around.]

Therefore when adding a second dog I recommend owners think hard, and be prepared for a big investment in their time.  Be ready to spend loads of extra one-on-one time with your new dog.  Be ready to take a class with that dog and without the other.  Be ready to take that dog out to environments when he or she is just with you and not with the other dog.  If you take your dogs to doggy daycare, plan to take them together the first time (because the second dog might be more likely to see that the first dog is having a blast and then realize there’s nothing to worry about), but definitely plan to take them separately too.  (On the other side of the coin – If your first dog tends to be nervous at doggy daycare or in a boarding kennel consider taking the second dog without the first dog in this case, because he may learn to be nervous too from the first dog’s reaction.)  Bringing your new dog alone puts him in a situation where he must cope and learn coping skills on his own.  This is a HUGE gift you can give your dog.  Many owners get caught up a bit too much in things being ‘fair’ and worry about the second dog being sad or jealous that they are left behind; though ‘sad’ and ‘jealous’ are human emotions that we use to try to define and understand how our dog is feeling, these emotions do not translate exactly in the dog world.  Ultimately, though regardless of this possibility (and the depth of this subject), it is necessary to devote the one-on-one time to your second dog to give him the tools he needs to be a good, well-adjusted pet, friend, and doggy society member.  Again, this is important for two main reasons – to create a bond and learn basic training with you, and to allow him to establish coping skills and confidence of his own.

Dogs understand the world in a hierarchical sense too.  By spending time with your second dog, you are establishing and confirming yourself as leader of your home pack, which can also greatly decrease the chances of or help, if or when a dog might have issues.  For example, if you were to get a young dog/ puppy as your second dog, they will hit a stage of development where they test boundaries.  If this stage involves testing your rules and boundaries, it will be much easier to reinforce and re-establish that “yes”, the rules are going to still be enforced.  If the dog has not learned any rules from you then you will possibly have a very unruly dog at this point and be presented with double or more the work to regain control.  If your second dog decides to try to test boundaries or challenge the hierarchy with the first dog in the home, then it will also be much easier to regain control being that both dogs see you as leader and thus follow your guidance.

This is Bella and Austin. I trained them both individually before I put them together. Now they work very well together. It can be hard to work with two dogs if one does not know the rules…and of course that would be just when the other dog decides to get crazy too…

[This brings me to a side subject that I’d like to address quickly.  Many owners get confused or worried about which dog they think should be enforced as higher than another dog.  Some owners think the first dog should automatically be reinforced by them as higher in the pack order than the second dog.  Some owners think the older dog should be enforced as higher over the younger dogs.  Neither of these is true.  I always tell owners not to worry too much about giving outside, forced structure to the hierarchy of the dogs in a home.  For the most part (and without going into a lot more detail) they will work this out on their own; and in fact, hierarchy in a dog pack is not something that is static or set, it is fluid and can change based on circumstances.  The only time there may need to be some consideration and outside help from a behaviorist about which dogs should be reinforced by the people as higher than another is, if there is fighting between dogs, or if there is an old dog that is being pestered or bullied by another dog – (however, even then I tell owners that by being leader any dog can learn that this is not allowed without necessarily having to change or interfere with the hierarchy.)]

I often have owners who have a dog with a lot of energy, or they don’t have enough time to devote to the dog regardless of energy level and they want to get a second dog to ease this issue.  This can be a double edged sword.  Yes, the second dog will tire and occupy the first, but without doing the things I mentioned above, you will basically end up with a small dog pack that just happens to coexist with you.  Again, this is because both dogs know how to speak to each other and if left to their own devices, they will not develop a bond or recognition of leadership from the human owners.  If you have kids in the mix this can be even more potentially dangerous.

I have experienced this first hand.  When my husband and I were first together, he and my 12-year-old daughter wanted a dog.  I made the huge mistake of giving in to their sweet, desirous faces, even though deep down I did not want or have the time to devote to a second dog.  Now in this case, we were not getting the second dog to occupy or be a buddy for our first, but still the end result was the same.  Because I did not want the responsibility at the time – I was busy re-building my life, re-building my career full time, and taking care of my family – I told them they could get a dog if they took the responsibility of training and care.  I said I would help of course but the majority of the responsibility would be on them.  (Now this mistake was even graver considering I should have known better – and I do know better.  I have told people in the past that when a dog is brought into the home, regardless of whose dog it will be primarily, everyone must be prepared for at least some responsibility and commitment to the dog.)  Still, it is what it is and I made the mistake.  For months I refused to do any training with the dog, then when I finally started to come to terms with the fact that this was going to end up being my responsibility, things got even busier in our lives.  So Lilly was left with Quinlan to keep her company for the most part.  What’s worse is she is a Pitt Bull and this is a breed that especially needs early training and socialization.  Some early illnesses also kept her from being able to be socialized young.  Now she is four years old, and not good with other dogs.  She is great in the house and with our own dog.  She is phenomenal with our children and she’s great for our lifestyle and is completely happy being a couch potato (unlike my BC Quinlan who wants to play fetch all day.)  If I didn’t train dogs for a living we may just be able to turn a blind eye to her other ‘issues’ and she would lead a completely happy life.  (Though once Quinlan passed and we wanted another dog we’d be faced with her bad dog social issues, plus the new dog would pick up and learn many of her habits.)  But dogs come in our house a lot and she must be kept from them, and I’m sure because of her lack of dog social skills this probably makes her nervous to a degree, even though she is not in direct contact with them.  Because I train I often use my own dogs to help.  And my own dogs should be a representation of my teachings.  Therefore after having my fourth child (and collectively with my husband sixth together), I realized she couldn’t be ignored any longer.

Now I have a large dog that is not leash trained, and loses all of her confidence when outside her home environment so much so that she jerks her head at every noise and walks with her tail nearly tucked between her legs, looking as if she will become highly reactive at the slightest thing that scares her.  Imagine me working her looking like this and then add the social stigma these dogs face and we just don’t present well at all.  It was a serious injustice to her to allow her to get to this point!

Lilly IS a super sweet dog and she’s a joy and a love to have in our home. With both our babies, she would often post herself close by them as if she were ‘keeping watch’.

Still she is making progress and though we have a lot of ground to cover I’m doing what I tell many of my owners:  We are where we are and I’m meeting you right here to help you move forward.  Judging and beating oneself up does not do anyone any good.  Dogs are extremely resilient.  Though I feel a lot of guilt, I’m sure she will improve with work.

If after considering all the above you still want a second dog, then here is the advice I usually give.  Absolutely rescue if you possibly can.  There are SO many dogs out there – good ones – that need a home.  When learning to train dogs I volunteered and trained the dogs at a local shelter for two years.  After the two years I had to walk away for a while.  The emotional and even physical toll it had taken to see good dogs get put down had finally just become too much and I needed a break!

Statistically speaking, female to female dog aggression is the hardest to fix, the next would be siblings (from the same litter), then male to male and finally male to female.  So just statistically speaking you will have better chances if you pair a female dog with a male playmate.  But don’t let this make you completely mark the same sex dog off the list – keep an open mind and heart and balance that with the logic above.  I always try to talk anyone out of adopting siblings from the same litter, just because I have seen too many issues that start to arise later as they reach maturity.  Again, that doesn’t mean it never works but why tempt fate.  I also do the same regarding taking the mom and one of her puppies or the dad and one of his puppies.

Obviously there can be tons of exceptions of two females getting along just great. This is Betsy and her new sister Dolley and I think their personalities will be very well matched.

First make a list of the type of lifestyle you live and pair this with the traits you would like in a dog.  If you are a couch potato, don’t adopt a Border Collie, or an Aussie.  They may appeal to your eye, but once your hyper dog won’t stop bugging you, or re-directing his extra energy to herding the kids, cats, doors, cars, or tearing up everything in sight – he won’t look so cute to you anymore.  If a barky dog would drive you out of your mind don’t adopt a – well many of the terrier breeds actually, or a beagle…  If the dog is genetically engineered to bark for some reason and you hate barking, you will have a huge undertaking to try to train it out; and don’t ever expect complete results.  If you hate grooming, don’t get a dog that would need a lot of grooming unless you have it in your budget to pay for it regularly.  Take this list to a local rescue group or shelter – they know their dogs and they can help pair you with the right one.  Now invariably, I would bet that if you did this without looking at any of the dogs available first and just let them bring/ show you a dog, it would probably not be the type that you would automatically be drawn to visually.  In other words, he might be ugly to you – this is what we in the biz like to call Murphy’s Law.  Keep an open mind – the ugliest dog in the world will become the prettiest when it’s a good match for your home.

I believe ALL rescue groups should do this but if they don’t, insist on it.  If the first intro, on neutral territory (not a location that either dog feels is ‘theirs’) works out well, then take the dog home for the weekend.  Everyone involved should want the best match for both the family and the dog – every dog should go on a test drive.  Don’t feel guilty or obligated if you or your existing dog are not feeling it, take him or her back to the rescue group after the weekend and keep the search going.  It DOES NOT mean that that dog is unadoptable or is a ‘bad’ dog; it just wasn’t the right match for you.  Both rescue groups and adopters need to repeat that line to themselves!  I wish shelters would also adopt (no pun intended) the same policy of allowing a weekend visit.  If you are adopting from a shelter see if the dog can be placed on hold and do multiple visits before deciding.  Now not every dog is going to be this perfect little angel, and a rescue always deserves an adopter willing to put in a little work if necessary, but that still jives with what I said above – You will already be planning on spending lots of one-on-one time with this dog and doing some training.

If you get a puppy – then you will have even more work, because add to the one-on-one time and training that you will need, to housebreak and go through the chewing phase as well.  I’m not saying getting a puppy is a bad idea but rather trying to make sure you’re prepared mentally.

This is Sophie, a Saint Bernard, when she was a puppy. She is one year old now and still not full grown! She lives in a home with two other very large breeds – their parents are saints in my book. They both work very hard to make sure their dogs are well behaved.

Dog Family Diaries – May 2012, update in September

I am working to re-establish my habit of posting blogs here.  I have to give myself a bit of a break because I was taking care of a newborn and still trying to work – it just got crazy and I had to let some things go.  This is a diary entry I made in May.  Below that is an update.  Some days I will write about dog behavior, some days about how to train specific things, and some days I will post what I’m labeling as “Dog Family Diaries” – because let’s face it; being the center, core and CEO (runner) of this family, there is no way my whole family is not involved in my doggy life!  For now my goals are to post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Next post will be about – Adding a Second Dog.

Dog Family Diaries 5/31/12

I’m having in-home doggie daycare today.  Right now I’m juggling a couple of dogs that come, Bella & Betsy, my Border Collie Quinlan, and my two girls – Kiera 2.5 and Ruari (pronounced Rory) 5.5 months.  It’s crazy!!  I feel like it’s been forever that I’ve been struggling with the idea of returning to work.  There are so many factors.  I chose this career partly because I felt it was something that I could manage and still be a mom.  I still think that is true but I’m realizing that melding *any* profession with raising a family is hard work!  My husband works so many hours right now and while we’ve talked about that not being a ‘forever’ thing, I’m honestly wondering if it will ever change.  On the one hand I don’t mind him working hard and understand the drive to be good at what you do; on the other hand though I’m being really careful not to repeat the mistakes of my last marriage – where I gave up all my dreams so the kids didn’t fall through the cracks because my first husband was a workaholic.  (Actually my first husband and I had made an agreement that he’d go strong and build his career while I focused on the kids and then he would be supportive and help me with the house and kids when it was time for me to go after my career.  When I started interning and then training dogs he was not supportive and this created a lot of resentment.)

I DO know that if I had to choose between my kids growing up with plenty of support and my career, it would be the kids without question or resentment.  THEY are my biggest and best accomplishment in my life and I want to be sure to help them thrive in all the right ways.  They will always be my top priority.  But if they can be included in my profession – a family business with support and understanding of a kid/ career juggling act, then that is what I REALLY want, because honestly that’s the only way it will work for me – to find some kind of balance with the two.  Sometimes I think I’m trying to do too much and I feel crazy juggling it all.  This morning I was outside with the three dogs playing, my two year old running around too, and the baby either in her outside play pen or in my arms.  Ruari is cutting a tooth and she’s extra fussy and slobbery.  I’ve had to hold her more than I normally do – and I normally hold her a lot.  I want to be there as she grows.  Six months seems so short and so long all at the same time.  Of course, one of the things I struggle with in my head is the subconscious feeling that ‘it’s gonna be like this forever’.  It won’t.  Ruari won’t be teething forever.  Kiera won’t be an independent two-year-old forever.  Juggling the kids and dogs won’t be like this forever.  The girls will be in school some day and I’ll need something to do with myself.  I don’t want to start from scratch again so I feel I at least need to keep my toe in the water.  I know myself and I wouldn’t be happy only being a stay-at-home mom – I need crazy – it’s how I’m most productive!  So while I feel the pull to be with my little babies every moment I also know myself.  Some may judge me for being that honest but that’s okay.

Of course then once I have a sitter/ daycare/ nanny situation it will be a struggle to pay for it.  I’ll be working my patooty off just to pay for care for my 2 girls and still bring home just a tiny bit when all is said and done (because I have decided that for now I only want to work part-time).  Again though, it won’t be this way forever.  And if I do work my butt off and get/ stay successful, then I’ll be able to make some money.  Then one day when one girl is in school I can sigh and know I’m bringing home that much more mullah.  Then when the other goes I’ll feel rich!-Haha  And hopefully my business will take off like crazy – maybe even before the in-school milestones.  Having a nanny would be nice too because I want to be able to still have the girls close by while I’m doing in-home doggie daycare.  I want the nanny to be able to come get me and say, “you have to see what Ruari is doing!” –  I want to be able to meld my career and family life!  I’m determined to make this work.  I’m thankful that this time I have a husband who has the same goals as I do though.  He wants to be helpful in achieving two careers balanced with family, and he comes home after a 14 hour day to take the kids off my hands for a little bit, or go to the grocery store, or help clean the kitchen, or potty the dogs staying with us, or dole out a few meals.  I’m not on my own in my endeavors and that’s huge!  We are a dog family – dogs are our life, and that’s cool!

For a while I would put Ruari in a playpen outside while I would watch over the dogs outside.

Dogs playing out back

I have lots of fears and anxieties about how this will all work out.  I remember feeling the same way when I went back to work when Kiera was 3 months old.  I think all moms have anxiety about being separated from their baby (– and anxiety about getting back into the swing).  It’s one of those phases of motherhood and the balance of holding on and protecting our kids but also letting go to little bits at a time.  From the moment they are born motherhood is a teasing away of control and connectedness (though of course there are aspects of the connectedness that never go away!) – They get too big to swaddle, gotta let it go.  They start crawling all over and you can’t protect all the bonks, gotta let it go.  You have to go back to work and allow someone else to help care for them, gotta let it go.  I think there is also anxiety about juggling it all and making it work.  I KNOW I’m not alone in these feelings.

For me, when normal anxieties crop up, my old anxieties seem to creep back in too:  “I’m not qualified enough to do what I do. – I need more education.”  “What if I fail?”  “What if I get going and then realize I truly CAN’T do it all?”  “What if I’m overwhelmed?”  “What if one of the kids gets bit by a dog?”  “You have your own ‘problem’ dog to deal with!”  My tactic in the past has been to deal with each statement and respond to myself as they go through my head.  Lately though I think I feel ‘too busy’ to even acknowledge the thoughts, but the truth is they are there and they stay and fester if I don’t deal with them!  SO here are my responses to my above worries: “I AM good at what I do.  Education comes with exposure and who says I can’t take more classes later.”  “If I fail, I’ll pick myself back up and take the lesson I’ve learned to apply it next time.  I’ve picked myself up from the bottom before, I could do it again.”  “I won’t know if I can’t handle it until I DO it.  And usually I find I CAN handle it.”  “Overwhelmed to a degree is a state of mind.  I choose how I view it.  I can do what I can do, and usually that gets just enough done.”  “I am very careful about the dogs I choose that are exposed to the kids.  I take very careful safety steps and stay constantly in-tune to what is going on.  Kids are around dogs all the time and I add to our chances of success by knowing and dealing with the kid-dog dynamic so much.”  “My problem dog does need to be dealt with, but I need to accept where I am and that I shouldn’t expect everything to be perfect – there truly is no such thing anyway!”

So there’s the time thing, the mom thing, the money thing, the self-doubt thing, the oh-my-god-my-head-is-going-in-a-million-different-directions thing!….  On my good days I say “BRING IT ON!  I CAN do it.”  On my bad days I waffle around and wrestle around, and all in my own head.  In the end though I get up each morning and ride the wave.  I’m both excited and scared to death all at the same time about where that wave will take me.  And ultimately I’m glad that I’m such an analytical person.  I can drive myself crazy sometimes but it also keeps me sharp and helps me stay on top of doing things right.  As long as I AM analytical then I might just be able to keep the balance.  The minute I get complacent, the minute I put on the blinders, that’s when something will fall through the cracks.

Well I think my 20 minutes of tired dogs and kids is up.  Back to it!

Dog Family Diaries 9/18/12

Wow!  So much has changed in the short time since I wrote this diary entry.  That was about four months ago.  Ruari is so much bigger than she was (9 months old now) and growing fast!  Even though I’ve had four children (all girls) I still forget how much they change and how quickly that first year goes by.  Lately there are many instances where I look at Ruari and watch how she’s developed, then a strong memory of how recently it feels like I was just doing this with Kiera washes over me!  When you’re in that moment of early baby time it’s just odd how it feels so permanent.

When I looked for childcare options I quickly realized there was NO way we could afford a nanny – oh well.  I did find a wonderful woman who watches children in her home and she is so good with the kids!  It’s interesting to me because I just don’t know how she does it.  I mean the two I have makes me feel so challenged.  But this is her gift and dogs are mine.  It’s interesting too because I had to wait until the beginning of the school year for the slots to open up – Ruari was eight months old and it was the perfect timing -  I was finally feeling ready to let someone else take care of her.  The girls love her which makes it so easy to leave them there.  Kiera regularly asks if it’s daycare day.  I have resumed my schedule I had before Ruari was born (and when Kiera was in care alone).  The girls go to the sitter two days a week while I go work with dogs at Dogtopia of Austin.  I get to take the dogs in my program out individually and work with them on the goals their owner and I have made, then I send home a daily progress report and any ‘homework’ they can practice at home.  I do this on Wednesdays and Fridays.  I worried a lot about maintaining enough business to warrant paying for daycare but so far it is looking good.  I will do a cost/ income analysis over the next few months though to be sure.

I am still keeping a few dogs in my home for boarding.  Right now I literally have three clients and I would like to build on that a little.  On Tuesday and Thursday I have a dog that comes for in-home daycare – usually just one; Bella, a petite but hyper Border Collie who lives nearby and needs an outlet a couple days a week.

Don’t let this calm facade fool you! Isn’t she a cutie?

If I have a boarding dog then she has another dog to play with and if not I just take her out several times during the day and play fetch with her – thank goodness she LOVES this game.  Sometimes another dog drops by for a day of daycare too.  I juggle the kids and dogs on these days so I haven’t attempted to grow the numbers any at this point.  Right now Ruari is small enough where I don’t have her crawling around on the ground much when Bella is in the house unless I know Bella is good and tired.  This is not because Bella is bad with kids –she’s great or she wouldn’t be here, but because she is a little hyper and impulsive and because both she and Kiera (my almost 3 yr old) can be unpredictable at times.  So I balance her time and Ruari’s time.  Sometimes Ruari is in her bouncer so it’s not a problem if Bella and Kiera are hyper, sometimes Bella spends a little time in the back yard  with Quinlan (who really isn’t much of a player), and when the girls are napping of course Bella has free reign then too.  As Ruari gets bigger, and sturdier it will be easier to have kids and dogs together because she’s better able to handle getting bumped into, plus she will start to be big enough to follow some instruction.  Overall though, the juggling of the kids and dogs has become easier – even when there are several dogs here.

See (watch video)

I do lessons on Sundays but I’m happy to say I found balance there too, which was another thing worrying me.  My husband works a lot; often Monday through Saturday, so really Sunday is the only regular day he’s home.  However, I need a day to do lessons – weekends are usually more convenient for clients – and this is the only day I can have him watch the girls.  It’s nice in that we are not paying for childcare, but I hated that I never saw him, plus I have wanted to attend church regularly for a while now.  I decided to do my lessons starting in the afternoons on Sunday and we all go to church and then lunch, then I’m off to do any lessons for that day.  Now that the weather is not so hot this is a great schedule.  (It will be harder in summer when outside work with dogs warrants lessons either earlier or later in the day.  I’ll just figure that out when it comes back around.)

So in a way I’m pretty much working full time – kinda sorta…  Hey I juggle kids, house, working, paying bills, running a business, transportation, meals…I guess I can say I DEFINITELY work full time!!  BUT the main thing is I’m happy with the balance for the time being.  I still want to grow the business and am working on a business plan, but I’ve achieved what I wanted – balance and to ‘keep my toe in the water’ at least.  I’m also trying to find time to write too though – I give handouts when I do lessons but I don’t have handouts for several subjects that I would like, and I’m trying to get them written up.  I’m also trying to write a book (non-dog related – don’t laugh).  It’s just something that’s been in my head for years and now I felt the urge to at least get it out of my head and see what happens.  Sooo, if what I already have on my plate isn’t enough, I’ll be adding Mondays to the girls’ daycare so that I can write dog training handouts and write my book – that is if the budget will allow for it.

My worries about returning to work, and having lost my ‘abilities’ were unfounded.  I did the same thing when I left for maternity leave for Kiera – doubted myself when I came back.  I’ve been doing more lessons and working with the dogs for a few weeks now and I have to say I’m still great at it.  (Too bad if that sounds like bragging!)  I know there’s so much more to learn but I also know I’m really good.

It took me a while but when I wrote that diary entry in May I already suspected I was having post-partum depression and anxiety.  (I went through a serious depression from 2004 to 2007 – toward the end of my first marriage.  Thankfully I had an epiphany moment one day and from then on pulled myself out.  I worked on the depression and anxiety using many cognitive methods that I had been taught.  I also have dog behavior to thank because it helped me understand the concepts and to know how much practice it would take.  I have proudly been completely off any medications for five years.)  Naturally I was reluctant to get on medication again.  At first it felt a bit like failure; I cried to my husband one night that I felt “I’d fallen off the wagon.”  But I finally admitted I needed a little help.  It was the right decision because I’m feeling so much better and the medicine really helped my outlook on things.  In a few months I can work back off the medicine.

I have also put my own dog Lilly into my training routine and am no longer ignoring that aspect of our family dynamic.  On the one hand I feel a lot of guilt for letting her ‘slip through the cracks’ for so long (she’s 4 yrs old now), but on the other I have to give myself a break – I was busy re-building my life, trying to work full time, getting re-married, having kids, and then starting a business.  Lilly is progressing well but she has a long way to go.  I’m proud to say though that I took her to a class that a very good colleague of mine taught on Ttouch (doggy massage) and Lilly went from being super tight and stressed to laying down and very relaxed.  Then we went through a maze with the other dogs in the class and Lilly was able to pass several dogs at a very close range without being reactive!  So I must say thanks to Shari at The Canine Center.  I hopefully will be attending another class there with Lilly in October.  I’m sure I’ll post about her progress.

Lilly yawning after some Ttouch during one of our training sessions.

Please visit my website too if you like.  Right now my business is set up to contract with facilities that may not have a trainer but would like to offer that service to their clients.  I also do private lessons.  I do very limited boarding in my home – really for clients that have become friends.  And of course a small in-home daycare setup – usually just with Bella.  I’m not offering Group Classes right now because I don’t have time or the facility.  (But if you’re looking for a group class I would recommend the Canine Center – tell them I sent you!)  By the way – My website needs updating – another item on my rather large To Do list.  You’re welcome to join me on this journey to build a business and balance a family.  The plan is to purchase land to live on and create a Training Facility there – A FAMILY run training facility where my love for dogs and my love for my family can hopefully be melded together in the same place…I wanted to say ‘in harmony’, but I think ‘controlled chaos’ would be a better choice.

Of course you can also visit my blog to glean some dog training tips and advice as well!  Feel free to ask questions – I’d be happy to help.

Ruari in playpen outside

For a while I would put Ruari in a playpen outside while I watched over the dogs playing.

Difficult Dogs

This post is more geared for those who work with dogs.  If you work in the dog industry you probably love dogs – or at least I really hope you do.  Those that love dogs rarely come across dogs they don’t like, but it would be wrong to say it never happens.  I would imagine there are teachers out there too that sometimes have students that drive them crazy.  The thing I love about both kids and dogs is that they are innocent.  Dogs don’t usually misbehave out of an overt desire to be bad, in fact that’s extremely, extremely rarely the case.  Many dogs who have behavior problems just need that little extra help.  I love the feeling of finding a way to get through to a ‘difficult dog’.  It’ super important for those in the field of caring for dogs to regularly remind themselves that the dogs don’t do things to be ‘bad’ purposefully.  Being immersed in the dog world, just like any profession, can cause us to become patterned and rote, making the ability to get frustrated easier.  Doing ALL the dogs justice requires that we stay aware and conscientious of our own patterns and tendencies and that we realize that they need our guidance to maneuver this human world they live in.

I experienced having to remind myself of this on Monday while doing in-home daycare.  I got frustrated and said to Bella – a very hyper Border Collie mix – “oh my gosh, what does it take for you to figure it out!”  As the words came out of my mouth I remembered that I always try to stay aware of my state of mind.  There were several factors for my getting frustrated.  1)  Like usual, I got into my pattern of the day and the ‘list’ of all the things that needed to get done.  When Bella’s behavior caused one of those things to take longer than usual it frustrated me.  I’m sure internally, somewhat subconsciously, that I was thinking, ‘I’ve got SO much to do, I don’t have time for this.’  (I’ll respond to each of these tendencies in the following paragraphs.)  2) I was having a ‘bad’ day.  I’ve dealt with nausea throughout my pregnancy and was having a particularly bad case of it that day.  3) I have three other dogs that needed my attention.  4) Bella is a young dog, thus making her much more prone to have what I call ‘impulse first, knowledge second’.  5)  Bella is a typically hyper breed.  6)  Bella is what I affectionately term ‘a blond dog’ – two seconds after a thought enters her head, it’s back out again.  7)  Bella is going through some home changes.

Responses:

1)  Productivity:  Within a work day, part of the productivity that can be achieved is through having every dog understand the routine and behave themselves.  Taking the time to teach this, especially with the more ’difficult’ dogs will increase productivity in the end.  I find that while these extra moments take time now, there is always this exhale moment later – as long as I’m persistent - where I realize that my challenging dog has settled into a good routine.  Being that there are usually multiple new dogs coming into a facility or that Murphy’s Law dictates there will usually be several dogs at one time who need extra work, I recommend doing as much as you can each day with each dog.  There are definitely times where it may be necessary to put on blinders regarding a behavior, just for that moment, because other things are more pressing.  However, the balance is to take the blinders off the next time.  And sometimes we may need to put a band-aid on some behaviors while we focus on others that are a higher priority.  Ex: A dog that is running away vs a dog that is fence fighting.  For the fence fighting dog – maybe work him for the first three dogs that pass and the last three, or maybe only with only the dogs that pass that are equally reactive, but put on blinders for the rest.  The final goal is that all dogs can pass without fence fighting.  And once you have your fence fighter under better control, you can now also start focusing on your running away dog.  By the way, if your dog that runs away in the play room or play yard is new, it may in fact correct itself just by the dog getting to know the staff.

2)  Bad Day:  I am a realistic person and though I don’t presume to try to tell people not to let a bad day get to you, I can tell you some of the ways that I cope.  First, the fact that I love what I do is huge.  I have been watching the news about the passing of Steve Jobs and one of the things he was quoted as saying in a commencement speech is to find what you love to do.  This really resonates with me and it’s so true.  While any job, even one you love, can become job-y at times, I almost never regret dragging myself into work sick or moody.  Once I’m around the dogs I always feel much better!  I try to pay this back as well, by always trying to bring them as much joy as they bring me.  Also I have used a cognitive approach largely in my own personal life (to manage depression in the past and also to manage anxiety); it’s a kind of mind-over-matter.  It’s a large part of the ‘finding balance’ that I often teach and talk about too:  Identify tendencies, behavior patterns, and thought processes and then actively practice balancing them.  Though I might be feeling cranky I often use little tricks to refocus or distract myself.  I view work as my own personal getaway.  As I’m headed to work, anything that is worrying me I always think, “You get to completely forget about everything for the next eight/ ten hours so you can focus on the dogs.”  Sometimes the bothersome thoughts pop back into my head but I remember my statement and put it out again.  It’s a type of training for ourselves!  I also refocus by setting some goals for myself for that day.  It could be a reward-based goal, like allowing myself a short play/cuddle session with one of my favorite dogs, or a progress goal (I like to think of it as a challenge goal), like saying, “Today I’m going to find two new approaches to helping Bella sit for attention.”  I think ultimately my point is that we have much higher control over our mood than we often think.  I try hard to be cognizant of my mood and change it as much as possible.  (Though I also employ time-outs for myself too.) 

3)  All the dogs need me:  I often apologize out loud to my easy-going or well-behaved dogs, because they get so much less attention than the challenging ones.  But I also look at this in a pragmatic way.  There are dogs out there that just ‘get’ certain things and they are blessed because of it (and I am too).  To me, this is God’s way of allowing me the time to focus on the ones who need that little extra help, (or fate if-you-will).  Does this mean that the more challenging dogs don’t deserve the extra help and attention?  NO.  In fact, to think this way is a cop-out to me.  I was a challenging child in my teen years.  (Challenging might be the nice way of wording it as far as I was concerned…hmm, how about annoying, difficult, pushy, stubborn, mean at times, disobedient, enfuriating…I can keep going, but you get the picture.)  I can’t say how often teachers wrote me off because of this.  I think that’s sad.  It’s E-A-S-Y to enjoy and work with the easy kids.  I feel this way about the dogs.  I LOVE the challenge of finding out how to get through to the challenging dogs.  I RESPECT the traits that make them this way.  I always say I can find the good and bad in everything and this is true for dogs that are challenging.  We can find ways to turn those challenges into strengths and use them to work with and help the dog.  We owe it to them!

(I must say too that one of the things I teach is how easy it is as a society for us to speak up to correct, but stay silent when behavior is good.  I try to train myself constantly to balance this and employ at least as much praise as I do correction.  Let the dogs know when they are getting it RIGHT as well as when they are getting is WRONG.  In doing this I often praise my easy-going dogs throughout the day for their good behavior, so they are not completely ‘left out’.  And of course I always love on everyone – this is one of the great perks of our job.)

4)  Young dogs:  Working with young dogs is a great lesson in seeing the lack of impulse control over knowledge.  Impulse is the ruler of youth.  The lack of impulse though, makes them malleable, however it also requires a great deal of patience and consistency on our part.  I’m raising a two-year-old human child (daughter) right now.  If she were a dog, she’d definitely be a very challenging breed!  I often repeat to myself, “Stay consistent April.  You WILL see the payoff in a few years…hopefully less!”  Repetition is the key.  Stick with it.  I also recommend though testing different methods for getting through to a dog.  Bella for example is an extremely persistent jumper.  She’s a very petite Border Collie mix so her size was not as imposing, but still she started off being very physical when she jumped.  When she was first brought into her home, she was a rescue and her confidence was pretty low.  She was quick to become fearful of people and corrections, so we had to take this into account.  Getting onto Bella for jumping up at this time was not as much of an option.  We tested ignoring her, but that didn’t seem to matter to her; She’d jump on your back, side and all over, not even noticing that she was getting no-where.  Now we could ignore her for as long as it took to get that one second where she finally stopped long enough to praise, but for her this period was a long time.  Plus when we praised after that very long wait, the praise served to reset the entire process.  There was a faster way.  We taught Bella to sit – focusing on training just this and merely ignoring the jumping for the time being.  Once she understood the concept of sit by itself, we added it to sit-for-attention and would command her to sit in order to get pet.  Teaching the sit also served to grow her confidence, trust, and understanding of her owners.  As we progressed I started to see her confidence increase and she understood the foundation of what we expected of her – sit for attention.  So when all this was accomplished we were able to add in a verbal correction (I like “aack”) for the jumping as opposed to sitting; She was confident enough and trusting enough that now she could accept a slight correction.  We tested several approaches to find the right one for Bella and now that we found it, it just comes down to repetition.

5) Hyper breeds:  My own personal challenge in working with dogs are always the ones that are hyper or get excited easily.  My energy is at its core, the same.  My energy gets revved up easily and when working with a dog with the same tendency, it is easy for me to feed off that energy and vice versa.  I become amped up if I’m not cautious.  When I’m amped up I’m more impulsive, less calculated and much less patient.  Then the dog feeds on any of these tendencies and their behavior becomes worse.  It takes constant practice and I have become better over the years, but it’s still something I have to stay on top of.  Because I am aware of this tendency, I have become very practiced at recognizing it and re-directing it when it crops up.  This is the balance that I try to pass on to everyone.  Any interaction with a dog is made up of a huge array of factors.  A big part of the equation is our own energy and interaction with a dog.  Some people have naturally calm energy, which I often envy, but remember finding the good and bad of everything…  I am very good at teaching recall to dogs because I’m good at amping them up.  A calm person would have to work to amp a dog up.  Mapping out our tendencies and balancing them in every situation is very helpful in working with dogs.

6)  Blond Dogs: Aww, you gotta love ‘em!!  (I’m blond myself.)  My training approach is the same as with youthful dogs.  Repetition and consistency are the key and with the ‘blond’ dogs, over time they will remember.  (I know I do!)  ;D

7)  Home Changes: I mention home changes because if you work in the industry and a dog that normally behaves a certain way experiences some behavior changes, then it could be going through something from the home environment, a developmental change, or a medical issue (among the primary considerations).  This is why one of the things I really want to help teach daycare and boarding facilities is how to be properly honest with owners about their dogs’ behavior.  Yes, many owners just want to hear that their dog had a great day and is tired, and amongst owners there are innumerable personalities.  This can make it hard to measure how much information to give.  Understanding owner’s personalities and how to address them based on this will be a subject of another day.  But what I can say is that all owners want to hear the truth and regardless of the few that may not like it, it is our responsibility as care takers to give at least the cliff’s notes version to everyone!  Having and giving the whole picture can only aid in our care abilities.

When ‘diagnosing’ what a dog and owner need I combine what they tell me they need with what I can see they also need.  The owners may want to teach basics but if I see that the dog is a little pushy, then I will help them deal with this as well.  I do the same with dogs that come into my home.  A dog may come to me for daycare because the owner wants to tire them out, or socialize them, or both.  I may see while they are with me that they are really humpy with other dogs and pushy in transition spaces.  I want to send a dog home better than when they came to me and this includes the whole package.  I’m not done just because I met the goals of the owner!  My duty and calling is much higher than that – all our duty and calling is!  Everyone who is blessed enough to be around dogs professionally has a unique ability with them and thus the responsibility to help in every way we can!  Repeat this motto, “I want to send every dog home better than when they came to me.”  This includes health-wise, behaviorally, and of course regarding the goals their owner has in bringing their dog to you.

In Bella’s case on Monday, she was bouncing up and down at a doorway as I was trying to move dogs from one area to another.  Moving dogs around is a very common and usually supposed to be a quick thing.  Her bouncing was hampering me from properly getting to the door and she was landing on other dogs.  I got frustrated at first and then accepted that I needed to take a moment to work on it.  After we worked for a few minutes Bella was still jumping but it was further down the wall.  I accepted this level for the time being, which brings me to my last note.  Often it is helpful to accept and encourage progress in the right direction.  While not jumping at all and standing back calmly would be the epitomized goal, Bella is so young and hyper, that may have been too much to expect.  To have held the expectation level so high I may have only served to frustrate her and it would have taken me much longer.  I will continue to try to make progress toward the final goal and only time will tell if that goal is too lofty.  And even if we don’t completely achieve it now, and I leave it be for a while, this won’t hamper me from also trying again as she gets older.

I hope this has helped.  And hopefully I have touched on many of the things that might hamper us from going that extra little mile.  I always like to tell staff at a facility, “Pick at least one, if not two, challenging dogs in your facility to take under your wing.”  If everyone did that, imagine what we could do.  We all have different abilities and some employees may just be better equipped to help certain issues out.  Bring it up at your next meeting:  Which two “Difficult Dogs” will each employee adopt?  It’s okay if there is some overlap.  Make a list of all your difficult dogs and see who is left and how you can help them.  The reward can be SO magnificent!!!!

Kids and Dogs – both need training, and specific dog reactions

Raising kids and having dogs around is always interesting!  It can be crazy and there’s rarely time to sit still but I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way.  I love being able to help people who have dogs that aren’t great around kids, but just need a little proper exposure.  I feel for owners with dogs who are a little nervous around kids because it’s not like you can ask a friend or neighbor, “Hey, bring your kid around so my dog can growl, and be nervous, in order to get used to them.”  Being that I’m pregnant with our last baby too, I feel like it’s a great time to include video and instruction on kids and dogs and when this baby comes, introducing babies and dogs. 

Below is a video I took of Ziggy, an American Eskimo and my daughter Kiera.  I talk about teaching both kids and dogs to be around each other as well as specifically about the reactions that Ziggy is having to Kiera.  The voice and video timing are messed up a bit in the first video, which I was extremely bummed about, but maybe there will still be good information to glean.  The voice is ahead of the video, so you’ll hear me commentate and then a few seconds later you see what I was talking about.  The second video is mainly me talking more about kids and dogs.

Video:  Ziggy & Kiera                                        Video:  Talk about Kids & Dogs (Ziggy & Kiera)

Correction:  At the end of the second video I was having trouble thinking about how to word the tendency for behaviors to carry over from dog to dog behaviors vs. dog to people behaviors.  There are some behaviors that you could somewhat safely say would carry over from dogs to humans.  Examples of those behaviors would be triggers, general personality traits, bite inhibition (or lack), touch tolerance. 

Triggers are things that tend to set a dog off.  This doesn’t mean they go nuts or bite, it’s just the things that would annoy them.  The point at which a dog would bite has to be evaluated individually.  (I would word this as tolerance level.)  I will reference Ziggy in particular because he is the subject of the videos – Ziggy’s triggers would be toys or bones (resource guarding) - especially those of higher value to him, being touched too roughly, or being cornered.

Ziggy’s general personality is very sweet, attention loving, but a little reserved at the same time.  Ziggy also has the tendency to be a little bossy.  For example, Ziggy was hanging with my Border Collie, Quinlan, when I first introduced him to Kiera while in her high chair.  (This is always how I first introduce a dog to Kiera.)  Kiera was eating lunch and Quinlan snuck over after a bit to paruse under Kiera’s high chair and Ziggy promptly ran over, growled and backed Quinlan out of the area (despite Ziggy’s being about 1/3 Quinlan’s size – LOL.  In the dog world and regarding leadership, size doesn’t matter, it’s how a dog carries itself.  I love telling owners this because its nice to know, especially for owners with very large dogs, or owners who tend to be more shy or cautious.)  ((NOW if two dogs got in a fight size WOULD matter, but this is not my point right now.))  I knew this meant Ziggy is bossy with dogs and thus would need to be watched to see if he’s bossy with Kiera.  It’s also important to mention that dogs tend to generally see kids as more on their level – figuratively and literally.  This means that Ziggy might be more willing to ‘boss’ Kiera than he would be to boss an adult like me or my older girls.  When Ziggy was finally around Kiera one-on-one his response to her was SO sweet!  He went right up to her and got very close.  He wanted her to pet him and he was very interested in her.  On the video you can see that he wants to be near and around her and he often seeks out the interaction himself, but he is also adjusting to a small child.  Children move much differently than adults and can be unpredictable.  Ziggy is definitely getting used to her, but all results so far are very positive.  Also his tendency to want to be so close to her can be a double-edged sword because when he’s slightly uncomfortable or nervous his desire to be close conflicts with his current state of mind.  Because I see a tendency to be bossy, this is also thrown into my equation with how much exposure is okay, or how far I let Kiera go.  However I have also noticed that Ziggy is pretty tolerant with her so I have allowed her to slightly push the boundary – ie. giving Ziggy a hug like you see in the picture in the previous post.

I know Ziggy has good bite inhibition because I was able to see him play with other dogs.  He actually wrestled and mouthed which you can also see in the video labeled “Ziggy intro to Kiera” in the previous post.  He mouths Betsy Beagle quite a bit but is always easy.  Quinlan, my Border Collie, does not have the best bite inhibition.  This is one of those things that generally carries over from dogs to people.  Ziggy actually slightly corrected Kiera twice too.  One was right after I took this video.  Ziggy had taken one of Kiera’s toys and started chewing it.  (Now, he hasn’t been here long enough for me to expect him to know the difference so doing this was not an infraction – neither was his correcting her for that matter, which I’ll discuss in a minute.)  When she went to take her toy back, he snapped in her direction.  He barely made contact with her hand and he gave a quick growl right before.  The important point is that he barely made contact, which is good and he gave a growl, though I would have liked it to be longer in a perfect world.  This though brings me to two other subjects – 1) dogs giving signals is a GOOD thing and 2) dog are naturally ‘possession’ oriented creatures.

Dogs giving signals is a GOOD thing:  One of the biggest mistakes I see being made with kids and dogs is when a dog gives a signal to a child and is corrected for it.  A signal would be things like a growl, a lip lift, moving away, a turned head, or getting stiff.  The last two examples are body langauge that are much more subtle and can be harder to read, but still a signal.  Of course, more obvious signals are preferred.  If a dog gives a big display, like barking, jumping around or growling a lot, this needs professional help because there is a higher level of stress or fear involved.  Ultimately though, any of these signals are NOT the problem; they are a symptom of the problem.  In the case of Ziggy above he was guarding something.  The signal was the symptom, but what was going on in his head was “don’t even think about taking that from me.”  The signal can be indicating many different things, like stress or frustration, fear, possessiveness, barrier issues, and so on.  But ultimately the SIGNAL does not need to be dealt with, it’s “what is the thought behind the signal?”  If the signal were a turned head, the thought might be “you’re really in my personal space, you need to move back.”  If we correct the signal and don’t deal with the underlying thought, then we are removing the cue and that’s when I get calls saying, “The dog bit our kid and there was no warning.”  In Ziggy’s case, first I’m glad he is at the level he’s at – he gives a signal, and if he gives a correction its minor, he generally has a good demeanor and a high tolerance.  Second, his thought was “guarding”, so in his case to deal with his issue behind the signal, I would re-wire him to be more accepting of having things taken from him and in the case of our daughter, also teach her that it’s not necessarily nice or safe to take things away from dogs.  This brings me to the last point.

Possessiveness:  While there are obviously levels of possessiveness and definitely some that would be deemed as extreme, in general, dogs are possession oriented creatures.  If you’ve seen dogs or wolves in the wild, there is a lot of to-do over a kill.  They don’t just readily share with each other.  This has carried over in domesticated dogs – it’s just how they see the world.  I always say, “If you control the resources, you control the dog.”  Without going into a lot of detail here, this basically means if you control what is important to your dog (which doesn’t mean in a ‘dominant’ or ‘domineering’ way) then your dog will be more motivated and oriented to you.  If everything is free and the world comes on a silver platter – then what the heck does he need you for?  Because dogs are possession oriented I recommend “re-wiring” them to be a little more accepting of giving things up from the beginning.  You do this by retraining their brain to think good things happen when a hand comes to touch at first and later take an item. 

Set your dog up for success by starting this with a low value item – something they like but would not get too upset if they lost.  Take a treat or a higher value item or chew bone and depending on the level of possessiveness you can either stand and bend over the dog, or actually reach down near the item they have.  Just as you do, produce the higher value item.  This usually serves to make the dog move away or leave the lower value item slightly; this is what we want.  We’re teaching him that when a hand comes near to take something it’s only because something better is on its way.  Praise him, give him the higher value item and leave the lower one where it was.  When you progress to actually taking the item, give it right back in addition to the higher value item.  This reinforces the idea even more.  Over time and practice we re-wire their association and when we actually need to really take something away, it’s not nearly as big a deal.  I also recommend teaching every dog the “leave it” and “drop it” commands.  (I will have to explain how to teach those at a later time.)

My last thoughts for now are that when working with kids and dogs it is important to take breed into consideration, but definitely don’t take it as a guarantee.  For example, if a family acquires a dog that is generally thought to be good with kids, don’t assume that will definitely be the case and especially don’t allow the kids to take their interactions with the dog too far just because of it.  I also talk about balancing tendencies too from the beginning and this includes non-kid friendly tendencies, like putting control on herding tendencies, or teaching bite inhibition to a large, powerful, or ‘hot-headed’ breed.

Well, I think I can’t do many things in short version.  Please feel free to give feedback if you think these posts are too long – though I’m not sure if I have it in me to be brief…